ShamPow!

Here's a story that really took me by surprise. World renowned pitchman Vince Shlomi, of ShamWow fame, was arrested for assaulting a prostitute. Apparently, Vince found out the hard way that Sasha Harris, the lovely lady of the night he picked up, doesn't like to be kissed. Soon after their game of tonsil hockey got under way Harris bit Shlomi's tongue and wouldn't let go. Vince had no other choice than to pry his most valuable asset free by punching Harris several times. * Note to Vince - it's probably not the greatest idea to be kissing the village bicycle on the mouth, for obvious reasons. * Harris is now considering pressing charges.

This has me wondering if I can press charges against Vince because I'm feeling like a victim of fraud. You see, I actually bought the ShamWow... only to find that it is really a glorified paper towel. I should have known to stay away from any product that has the word "sham" in it.

Sadly, this isn't the first time I've been taken by one of these late night temptations. Dr. Kazu Watanabe had me believing the Sobakawa Pillow was the answer to my dreams. I thought I was buying a pillow stuffed with buckwheat hulls, not marbles. Now 18 years later I still have a stiff neck. But that didn't compare to the pain in the ass trying to return this potato sack for a full refund.

This brings me back to Vince. I'm really hoping the ShamWow can clean up his latest mess.